FRANCO: There were some great kids’ movies this year. I took a five year old to see Toy Story 3 last week.
HATHAWAY: Did you enjoy it?
FRANCO: No it was ruined for me because the little brat was screaming and crying all the way through the film saying, “Who are you?” “You’re not my daddy.” “Take me back to the park where you grabbed me…”
HATHAWAY: Oh James, you are a card. And your slightly risky jokes are not threatening because you’re one of us. And you are so handsome.

This is the second-best fake Oscar monologue we’ve read this award season.